


what it says of us

by dizzy



Series: we're all dying anyway 2019 daily fic advent [14]
Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-18
Updated: 2019-12-18
Packaged: 2021-02-26 02:00:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 654
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21841807
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dizzy/pseuds/dizzy
Summary: Prompt:anything phil-centric
Relationships: Dan Howell/Phil Lester
Series: we're all dying anyway 2019 daily fic advent [14]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1559167
Comments: 14
Kudos: 200





	what it says of us

Phil's sitting rigid in his seat, feeling the eyes of what his imagination tells him must be a dozen or more people trained on them and not the stage. 

He can't help it. This is when anxiety kicks into gear for him; the strange tingling up his spine that swirls into some sort of flight or fight response, except not really because he's always been shit at fighting, hasn't he? So it's just flight; that voice in the back of his brain saying he'd rather be home in bed right now. 

They're here for Cornelia, though. Because it's Christmas and she's family and she's worked hard for this, her whole career centered on a stage since Phil was still scraping his knees playing schoolyard games. 

She deserves to feel their support. They deserve to get to see her perform. Everyone in this room does, the people who know them and the people who don't. 

A text message interrupts the 'round and 'round of his mind. When he looks at the screen, he's jolted back into the moment in the best and most startling of ways. 

_if we were strangers id def be trying to pull you right now_

He glances over and sees Dan's smirk. 

He tries to hide his own smile as he texts back, _if we were strangers i'd let u._

*

Phil keeps thinking of the fan they took a picture with. 

Before they left the flat they’d agreed to gently say no to anyone that asked, but Phil had read the question in Dan’s eyes when Dan hesitated after she asked.

They’ve always been good at nonverbal communication. One tilt of Phil’s head and Dan agreed easily. 

It's a nice picture. She's a nice girl. 

It still feels different in that every so slight way things do sometimes now. Phil walks away from the moment wondering at the changes in them that they’re still discovering. 

* 

The music is good. He records bits on his phone, laughs and leans in and whispers over to Dan at memories of certain songs, manages to let himself out of his own head enough to truly appreciate it. 

They leave the moment she's done. 

She isn't expecting them to stay. Likely, Phil thinks, she wouldn't enjoy it very much if they did. He can't say that with absolute certainty but he knows the strangeness of understanding that his very being can be a distraction to someone else's spotlight. 

They'll text her as soon as they're in the Uber and Phil will upload something to Instagram later. Maybe they'll even invite Martyn and Cor around for a nightcap - no, Phil thinks, they'll be off with their music friends celebrating, probably. 

Soon, then. They'll be seeing a lot of each other over the course of the next week, anyway. 

"Hey," Dan says, nudging into Phil. 

Phil looks at him. They're waiting on the car, both huddled close into their own jackets, hands shoved into their own pockets. 

"Hey," Phil says back. 

Dan leers. That's really the only word for it. "What's a fit guy like you doing on a mangy street corner like this?" 

Phil's laugh sounds bright to his own ears, syllables turning into smoke in the cold December air. "Just waiting on someone like you to come by and sweep me off my feet," he says, playing into it. 

"Oh, that's some good luck then." Dan glances down at his phone. "My horse drawn carriage has shown up to take you back to my castle." 

Dan is in a good mood. Phil feels warm at the awareness, a throb of affection so strong he feels bowled over by it sometimes. He's glad they came. It'll get easier every time. He wants this. He wants them both to have this.

"What's the horse's name?" Phil asks. 

Dan looks at his phone. "Um, Ford Fiesta." 

"That'll do," Phil says, then smiles when Dan opens the door for him.

**Author's Note:**

> thank you to sarah for beta reading even when google docs has it out for us <3


End file.
